Quotes from UVA Computer Science professors

About classes or teaching

• "While you're filling out your evaluations, think about how nice I've been."
• "Only those of us who like to torment students are left at the University."
• "You want to remember this, because it's one of those rare things that makes a reasonable exam question."
• "I'm paid to be dictatorial in these matters."
• Student: "So, you're not going to tell me how it works?"
  Professor: "You didn't ask me how it works."
  Student: "Now I'm asking."
  Professor: "I won't tell you!"
• "Three hours of classes is more than I can take even if it is interesting."
• "No one is going to fail the course...unless you turn in a final exam with pornographic poetry on it or something."
• "Education has nothing to do with teaching people -- it's trying to find classrooms and such."
• "We're renting the open area at Fashion Square Mall. We get in right after Santa leaves and classes have to be over before the Easter Bunny arrives."
• Referring to the final exam: "Make sure you have seven fun-filled pages."
• "I have to take an oxygen break here."
• "Ooh, there's a piece of design! You immediately flunk the course."
• Student: "I can't give you a rigorous answer."
  Professor: "Then give an unrigorous one."
  Student: "Okay ... no."
• "Office hours? For a T.A.? Pft, forget that!"
• Responding to a complaint about a tough exam: "Damn small price to pay for knowledge."
• Stated within days of one another:
  • Take-homes are the only logical way to test you.
  • Take-homes are a waste of time.
• "After all, the purpose of the exercises is to make sure we all have the same definitions...mine."
• "We just canonized my solution as opposed to your solution."
• "`The user structure' is the answer to the rest of the book --- except for question 3."
• Speaking about a pop quiz: "I could just ask them their name. Some of them would still lose points, though."